Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Lost & Found

iphone 4 + AGP = ?
It's been a rough week.

I recently lost the second Great Love of my life.  Or was it the third?  Fourth?  Hmmm... Can it be that I'm losing count of my losses?  Or am I losing count of my Great Loves?

My iphone and I had a whirlwind courtship.  After years of admiring this sleek little technical toy from afar and dreaming of one day calling it my own, the day finally arrived when Sprint pissed me off enough to divorce them after 12 years.  Verizon, my desired carrier was now offering service for this phone, I had a little spare change left over from a recent job... things just connected. BAM.  Within a few hours of pulling the trigger, I carried home this long desired, prized possession.  It was finally mine.

For 16 days I had the priviledge of marveling over this brilliant gadget.  I truly was enamored with the power and precision of this ultimate utility.  Having grown up in the 70s and 80s, and still recalling the rotary phones of days gone by... with their ultra long, tangled cords and having to step into the kitchen pantry to get any sort of youthful privacy as I chatted with my friends over nonsense... simply having a hand-held mobile phone was a brilliant miracle and it profoundly changed my life.  But this... oh this.  An iphone. There is quite simply nothing to compare it to.

Within a few days, that iphone became my everything.  It was there greeting me with a wake-up call in the morning, came with me everywhere on my adventures throughout the day, kept me in constant contact with friends, family and clients... held my photos, music and calendar... not to mention the hours of meaningless pleasure simply spent gazing upon it.  I admit, was hooked and touched it almost compulsively.  Suffice to say, it was too hot to last.  Some things are just not meant to be.

Lost... stolen... dropped... swiped... misplaced... accidentally thrown away?  I don't know.  I just don't know.  But when I realized it was over, gone, vanished, my loss was profound.

Anger.  Shock.  Denial.  Bargaining.  Hope.  Despair.  Elizabeth Kubler Ross and her seven stages of grief were coming in quite handy here.

I won't bore you with the details of what transpired, but I will quickly share what I learned.  And I promise you... it won't be a waste of time.  Please read this with an open mind.  Remember, I said, it's been a week of great loss and gain... and near misses.

Thank you, Great Spirit, for allowing me to hold onto my greatest
gift.  Thank you to the driver who stopped on time.  Thank you for
the mother who cried out and stopped the car.  Thank you to all
of the angels who were there in my absence.  And thank you, dear
Andrea, for staying for another day and letting me be your mother.
1.) Technology is a gift.  It is a privilege, not a right.  It won't always be there, so never, ever take it for granted.  And if you have to live without it for awhile, so what.  SO WHAT?!  The world will not end. You will not die.  Nothing will happen that can't be fixed or solved with minimal effort on your part.  People matter.  The people you love matter the most.

2.) Breathe.

3.) Always have a back up plan.  Always.  In my case, an old phone (battery charged full and removed to insure it didn't corrode, along with a charger) stored in a ziploc bag in my desk drawer enabled me to rescue 3/4 of my contacts.  I also have a land-line which enabled me to make and receive calls.  A back up plan in life allows you to remain grounded while experiencing change.  Change that is planned or unplanned.

4.) Notify your nearest and dearest, and let the rest go.  Enjoy the silence.  Think.  Be bored.  It's OK to sit and a red light in your car and just... stare at the red light.  Relax.  You are not missing anything important.  You are not that important?  The world will still continue if you miss that text.  Be unavailable... and take the extra time to focus on your life and what is meaningful in it.

5.) If something is meant to be, it will happen with or without your approval.  God is never going to send you a memo, you won't be invited to the board meeting, your vote will not count and there is a chance you will not have very much say in it at all.  Does it matter?  Yes.  Nothing is ever truly within your control.  The minute you know that and accept that, is the minute it all comes together.  Live in the flow.  It's all there is.

6.) You are all you have.  You are not your job.  You are not your address.  You are not that image in the mirror.  You are a spiritual being having a human experience.  You have a profound responsibility to surround yourself with like-minded beings if you wish to enhance this experience... and if you falter, you risk lowering your experience.  See who and what you are.  Own it.  Attitude really is everything.  It's OK to compromise.  But never settle.  Ultimately... you deserve what you get.

7.) When faced with loss... know that something better is coming.  The universe cleans house before it sends a gift.

Closure... that is a haunting word.

Guess what?  There is no closure.

When you experience a state of "non-closure" it means you are ALIVE.  Always remember that.  And that... with it's duplicitous blessing... can one day maybe "be" your "closure."

Loss, like many other things in life, deserves a cocktail and a toast: "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."  (George Santanyana).

Stay awake.



  1. Angela,
    That was poignantly and beautifully written.

    Here's to life and a good rest of the week!

  2. Thank you Ann! Yes, here's to life... and (hopefully) an uneventful rest of the week!

  3. We are so dependent upon our technology that it is very rough when something goes wrong. Glad you were able to see the bright side!
    Came over from SITS.